WHY?

I need to write! I have to write! This need needs to be taken care of right now, right here! I mean… writing… its everything I have!! More than the beauty of the thing, it is indeed the only way I can explore my entire mind… somehow… Explore all my ideas, even the darkest, the scariest and the craziest of all of them! Moreover, I really am going to need to get back in here someday to see what I was thinking a particular moment of my lifetime….

One Year Older!

All of this hearbreak, all of this awkwardness, all these mockeries… why? because I am one year older… yes, older… I may be a young girl but I am one year older. Is it sane to mock somebody that gets old? is it fair to break one’s heart because they are aging?

No. But it is adequate to hate on one because he or she spent one year without gaining anything! But wait…who told them I gained nothing? Is it even possible to spend one year and learn nothing from it? if you stayed that whole year locked in your room, only between the dank four walls, you will learn something, you will reach your mind power… at least… there’s always something to learn, no matter where from! so is it appropriate to hate on someone because they have failed doing one thing while succeeding doing another?

Yes, one year is indeed a big loss! No one can deny that, one can only learn plenty of  things in one year time, but if this person never tastes that bittersweet feeling, that same heartbreak I forementioned, if one does not know what it is like to not learn all of those “plenty” things, if one does not feel regret at a point, if one does not acknowledge that even he or she is can not succeed, then this one does not know what failure is thus is not afraid of it, and is therefore not considering the risks…

Failure… from my own experience, is only somehow a … partial word if I may say, you fail at something while you are, consciously or not, succeeding at another. And failure itself is a gain, because if you know its bitter taste, you will be ready to not get caught in its trap once more.

I hace failed this year, I have not succeeded my studies, I have failed making the right choices, I have failed making my parents happy and giving them back what they deserve but…I have learnt…