Just….

I just wanted a fresh start! I just wanted to be a good person! I just wanted a better opportunity! I just wanted to be great! I just wanted to decide what my life should be about! I just wanted to decide what is going to happen to me! I just wanted to live my life! I just wanted to have a dream! I just wanted to have a goal! I just wanted to have a better life… and I just wanted to do it on my own!

But here I am… acknowledging that… well… some people are just not meant to be great!! ENOUGH DREAMS, my life is practically over! this is what they call fate right?? I am just not born to be great! I am born to suffer my entire life,I am born to be dull and boring! I am born to struggle with everything ! I am born to not have a life!

Sooner or later,  you too will have to admit it… Some people are just not born to be GREAT !

Tic Tac Tic Tac Tic!

…That was the sound of my life stoppin! that was my final Tic! now, I am sobbing over it! but what to sob for? it is already gone, it has withered away, there’s nobody bringing back… now all I feel is this helpless soul tied up in this dead rotten body, a body that refuses to convey this soul to its creator, a body torturing this latter but refusing to let it go…. letting it go.. yes that is what I want, yes that is what I need!

My life has just stopped! My hopes and dreams have been erased. The future I have long hoped for no longer exists.No people like me do not get that life! We don’t get to live the way we want to! People like me do what has been decided for them. People like me surrender to how things are. People like me are too afraid to take any chance whatsoever. People like me lock theirselves up until they find a way to encouter what they don’t like. Poeple like me hope they weren’t…. but they are, and change is not a possibility!

Every attempt of change ends by failure!

I am forced to stay where I am, do what I am told and forget about all I have dreamt of! But there’s just this little thing agonizing me… I don’t want this life.I cannot settle for this! This is just not the life I signed up for! I am not able to cope with this misery anymore! I am not able to live a life I hate anymore!

No I don’t wanna be an ingineer! No I don’t wanna stay in this town! No I don’t want everything already set for me! I still want my life to be vague, I want to travel, to take chances , to make mistakes and have no one to blame them on me, i want to discover this world, I want to have to make a decision about my life, I don’t want everything already there and I am just following the path to make it happen! I am not that person! I cannot settle for that kind of life! I would rather be a lonely girl on the side of the road waiting for something to happen that to be that! At least, I would be waiting, hoping… but with this …. there is no waiting, there is no hoping, there is nothing!!  This takes away every hope and dream I have ever had! This sucks my soul out of my body. This makes me ready to leave this life!

There is nothing I have I can live for…why live?